Remembering Paul De Vries

A Year Without Paul

It's been one year since Dad died. A year of firsts for me. My first birthday without Dad. The first time the anniversary of Mom's death passes without being able to talk to Dad. Livia's first birthday without Dad. The first time I didn't have to worry about forgetting Dad's birthday. Kaia's first birthday without Dad. Christimas without Dad.

A year and a half ago, frustrated that we couldn't afford trips to see my Dad and my in-laws in the same year, I decided that we should drive cross-country so we could visit both the following summer. Unfortunately when the summer came, my father was gone. I almost gave up the idea, but Kim encouraged me and we came across not for a reunion, but for a memorial. Too see the house for a last time as it had been (though I am sure Tim will take great care of it), and to share time with my children, and let them say goodbye to their grandpa.

Special Drink

I've spent some time thinking about some of our traditions. We used to love to have "special drink," which it turns out is a milkshake made using the special drink machine shown above. I've made some, but I think it would be a good time to get one of those for myself to pass the tradition along. I worry about what my children will remember about my father. We moved to California when they were still young, and unfortunately couldn't visit enough.

If there is one thing to learn from this loss in particular and from loss in general it is that our time here is short, precious, and easily squandered. On our trip across the country we saw amazing things, and spending hundreds of hours in a Subaru Forester turns out to be a tolerable way to see those things. We live in a beautiful world, and I am grateful that my father took the time to show us so much of it. It's the main tradition I hope to carry on for my daughters.

Other articles

How is Bella?

Thu 28 August 2014
By Betsy Marcello

In Memories.

tags: bella

To follow up on the Pug thread: I am happy to report that Paul's beloved pug Bella is settling happily into a life of cozy beds and country walks here in Maine where she is loved so much! She has a special chair with her favorite blue blanket on ...
read more
Because of Pugs

Sat 09 August 2014
By Judy Glanville

In Memories.

tags: friends

Paul's warm love of Pugs, his caring, tender feelings for helpless baby animals, translated to his compassion for all things fragile, all things beautiful, all things threatened.
read more
Saying Goodbye

Wed 06 August 2014
By Christopher De Vries

In Memories.

tags: dad family friends

I wanted to send a big thank you to everyone who attended the memorial. It was good to look back at the life of a man who touched so many. I was really to happy to see how many people had traveled from so far.

If you would like to ...
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Paul the Massotherapist

Sat 24 May 2014
By Joan Ishibashi

In Memories.

tags: friend

Paul was one of the most generous and kind persons I have ever met.
read more
He was an Incredible Man

Thu 08 May 2014
By Matthew DeVries

In Memories.

tags: dad family

From the moment I first picked up a guitar till his final days, he loved that I was in a band and traveled the world.
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Mostly, Paul was just really sweet.

Mon 05 May 2014
By Chris Vartorella

In Memories.

tags: friend

Paul was so supportive of anything I did.
read more
The Young Man at Camp

Fri 02 May 2014
By Phil Corell

In Memories.

tags: young camp

Paul quickly became one of those “good friends” – solid, consistent, someone you could trust and count on.
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If You Want Something Done Right.

Fri 02 May 2014
By Jody Thompson-Jerrigan

In Memories.

tags: dad family

He was always so kind, warm and friendly.
read more
A Man Who Loved his Car and Children

Fri 02 May 2014
By Ian Cunningham

In Memories.

tags: dad family

A Father devoted to his car... and children.
read more

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